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Honour thy father and thy mother (Ex. 20:12)



The fourth commandment enjoins us to honour our parents and it even adds a promise; that we might live long in the land (Ex. 20:12). But the real problem is, what exactly is the content of this honour? What is a person supposed to do? My understanding is that there are three dimensions that constitute the idea of honour.

The first content of honour has to do with the things one does to or for them. In Ex. 21:15 the Law reads: 15"he who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death”. The passage introduces a certain type of comportment that is expected of children with respect to their parents. This is expressed in varied ways. For instance in Lev. 19:32 it reads: "You shall rise up before the grayheaded, and honor the aged. This has to do with consideration of the elderly. It is this same idea which Sirach expands upon in Sir. 3:12-14. He mentions help, kindness and forbearance among the ways one should act towards parents.

The second content of honour has to do with the things one speaks to one's parents. A number of passages illustrate this. In Ex. 21:17, the Law states that anyone who curses his father or mother shall be put to death. The same Law is repeated almost verbatim in Lev. 20:9. In Pro. 20 it reads: "He who curses his father or his mother, His lamp will go out in time of darkness". The same idea is repeated in Mt. 15:4 and Mk. 7.10. Whoever speaks evil of father and mother will be put to death.

The third content of honour is obedience to parents. In Dt. 21:18-21 it reads:
"If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they chastise him, he will not even listen to them, 19then his father and mother shall seize him, and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his home town. 20And they shall say to the elders of his city, This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard. 21Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death"
It is following this law that the Book of Proverbs encourages the young person to obey his parents. In Pro. 6:20 it reads: 20"My son, observe the commandment of your father, And do not forsake the teaching of your mother." And again, "Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old". (Prov. 23:22). This is what is eventually received in the New Testament. In Col. 3:20 it reads: "Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord."

So honour your father and mother means three things: act kindly toward them; speak graciously to them and finally, obey them!


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